Blend the base: Add cottage cheese, Greek yogurt, protein powder, cocoa, sweetener, vanilla, and salt to a high-speed blender or food processor.
If using, add the cream cheese and espresso powder. Start without adding milk.
Adjust consistency: Blend on medium-high until smooth and glossy, 30–60 seconds. If the blades struggle, add milk 1 teaspoon at a time until the mixture moves easily.
Aim for a thick, spoonable texture.
Taste and tweak: Stop and taste. Add a little more sweetener for balance or a pinch more salt to sharpen the chocolate. Blend briefly to combine.
Chill to set: Transfer to ramekins or a medium bowl.
Cover and refrigerate for at least 1 hour (2–3 hours is ideal). The pudding thickens as the cocoa hydrates and the dairy firms up.
Garnish and serve: Stir once before serving. Top with berries, cacao nibs, or a light sprinkle of crushed graham crackers for a cheesecake nod.