Soften the cream cheese. Let it sit at room temperature for 20–30 minutes so it blends smoothly. Cold cream cheese can get lumpy.
Blend the base. Add Greek yogurt, almond milk, protein powder, sweetener, cream cheese, almond butter, vanilla, and salt to a blender.
Blend on medium until silky, 30–45 seconds. Scrape down sides if needed.
Adjust sweetness and flavor. Taste and add more sweetener if needed. If using cocoa powder (2–3 tablespoons), espresso (1–2 teaspoons), or fruit (1/2 cup chopped strawberries), blend again until smooth.
For fruit, pulse to keep some small pieces if you like.
Add texture helpers (optional). Blend in glycerin or vodka now. This helps prevent the bars from freezing too hard.
Rest the mixture. Let the mixture sit for 5 minutes to settle bubbles. This helps keep bars smooth.
Fill the molds. Pour the mixture into popsicle molds, leaving a little space at the top for expansion.
Tap the mold on the counter to release air pockets.
Insert sticks. Add popsicle sticks and make sure they’re centered and straight.
Freeze. Freeze for at least 5–6 hours, or overnight for the cleanest release.
Unmold. To remove, run warm water over the outside of the mold for 10–15 seconds and gently pull the bars out.
Optional finish. For a “bar” feel, drizzle with a thin shell: melt 1/2 cup sugar-free chocolate chips with 1 teaspoon coconut oil, cool slightly, then drizzle over frozen bars. It will set fast.